Week 1: Coping with Bullying (teens) Module

Week 4: Coping with Bullying (teens)

Week 5: Family Support and Assertiveness Skills

Week 6: Cyberbullying and Recovery Pathways

Thoughts – Feelings – Actions

Have you ever thought about the connection these three words have with each other? We’re often not aware of the impact these three words have on our day to day behaviour. Sometimes we might use actions or behaviors that are dysfunctional and do not help us solve our problems or cope with stress. To recognize the reason behind this behaviour, you need to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Imagine your best friend hasn’t spoken to you much over the past few days. Because of this thought, you start to worry and eventually you feel sad and hurt. You are so worried, you decide to ignore and avoid your best friend.

Now let’s have a look at the connection between your thoughts, feelings and actions in a situation like this.

Thought – Your best friend hasn’t spoken to you much over the past few days

Feelings – Worry, sadness and hurt

Action – You ignore and avoid your best friend

Just because you have a certain thought doesn’t mean that it’s true or that you need to act on it. Your thoughts might be some guesses about why something happened or may happen in the future. Sometimes, our minds play games with us and even fill our brain with thoughts that are not true or based in reality. What if you have a different thought? Ever wondered what might have changed if so? If you adapt your mind to generate more than one thought, or if you could come up with new thoughts, it might help you to see the situation differently.

Let’s take the same situation and come up with new thoughts and feelings that may lead to different actions.

                        New Thoughts —–> New Feelings —–> New Actions

  • Your best friend might be upset with you, maybe not. You clearly don’t know yet —–> Concerned that your best friend might be upset, but you are not as sad as you were —–> Ask your best friend if she is mad at you, or if she has another problem.
  • Your best friend has probably been busy with school or something else —–> Disappointed you have not talked to your best friend, but understanding —–> Stay friendly with your best friend, as usual, be sure to say HI anyway.

Maybe your best friend is upset about something unrelated to you —–> Worried about how your best friend is feeling —–> Ask your best friend what’s going on and whether he or she needs any help